Birthday Reflection

Uffff another year has passed by, m getting older (sob) but hopefully wiser,stronger and prettier (unlikely). Wishes and prayers from all beloved friends and family,a hug from my dearest mom and brothers, ahhhhhhh warms my heart n make me feel like I mean something, someone. It should've make me feel grateful coz m surrounded by people who cares about me. Still, it doesn't make those stupid thoughts in that stupid brain of mine stop wondering. Been ages I have never celebrate my birthday nor musing over it, it passed like any other ordinary day. But this year i felt like i need to pause and rewind, what have i done all these years until this recent year, what have i achieve, what have i accomplished???? a big zero. Birthday isn't only a time to celebrate but also a time to reflect. I tend to get quite reflective and maybe even a little morose on the milestone days of the year: birthday, New Years and so on, i made a couple of resolution which offcourse some will be done and some are just forgotten. Today is no different, There is some strange kink in my personality that keeps me always looking forward. I am always wondering what is coming up around the next bend. When I examine my life I am far more likely to wonder what I will BE than to reflect on what I have become. I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but at least some good has come of it. It allows me to look forward to getting older instead of looking for a way to whine about it.But this day, maybe m just having one of those days, the blue mood, can't seem to find a positive thinking in me. Those who has passed over 25 and so, are called the late twenties. I look at newspapers, magazines, news and was looking at the successful life of people my age or even less, i look around and see my friends and relatives are having their stable life and stable career, uffffff i work but i can't exactly call this a career, n then i turn on tv n the show has a topic "your job isn't your career", yeah right mister, way to go to to make me feel discourage, n lots have started to contribute to their family tree and me??????? pfffffttt, stop asking. Suddenly i felt like i am no one, i have accomplished nothing, made zero improvement for myself and then sobs and more sobs following i felt........lousy, messy, stinky u name it, i am it. sobs, a little help :((, m drowning. Anyway, happy birthday dee, congrats, u're pathetic, thank u , a very nice information, will keep that in mind, yeah like this monologue will make u even more better, cut it out.