This is the english version of "Sulitnya Membuat Pilihan", for u simren :D

In life, we will always face and deal with every choices we have to make. Life itself is a choice, since we're still in our mother's womb, I've been told that we also have made a choice. When we're still a little and learning how to walk, we're also facing options we have to choose, imagine if when we were little, we have given up so easily when we were tired to learn how to walk and finally decided to crawl, then we will crawl for the rest of our life :( . But, humans unlike animals were created with akl, aka brain n mind, We could differentiate good from bad, right from wrong which then we manifested into a decision.

When we're being confronted with 2 choices, good or bad, things we love or hate, then the process of decision making wouldn't be so hard. But what if we have options which almost all of it we're in favour of .This, off course would be a lot harder, especially if it's regarding the biggest choices in our life which will more or less affecting our future. How would we know whether the road we've taken isn't the wrong one? How would we know of God's plan on us next?. As a Moslem, we must pray and leave the rest to Allah, Allah knows what's best for us. Du'a is an interaction between God and God's creation, by praying and offering du'as we have involving Allah in every decision we have made. But, is by praying and offering dua then everything will all be fine? What's good in a du'a if we don't believe in it. We must also believe when we're praying that Allah will help us and lead us all the way. So what if we can't get what we want in the end, but be sure that Allah will replace it with a greater good, might not be in material form but a better option anyway.

The most important thing in making a decision is never ever make a decision in our troubled mind, unstable emotion or unhealthy condition. Muse and think for a while then decide it when we have calmed. And don't ever choose something to follow others or because it's a trend to choose it. Choose something because we like it and we want to do it. But, we're just a human being, there are times we made the wrong choice. Maybe we forgot to pray and then made the bad choice in life and then regretting it, I have done that too, not once, not twice, but several times :, but then I realized that regretting without correcting is useless. Maybe, not everything I have decided is the best, but it's life. Life is a process, to achieve the greater good. Improving ourselves to be better is a challenge in daily life. There are times, the road to go there is smooth and easy, but often we have to suffer a little to get there. But if we endure it with a big heart and be happy no matter what happen and leave the rest to Allah then InsyaAllah it all won't be hard as it seems.

Like an expecting mother, even though she has to waited a long time with all the pregnancy problem she will encounter, but if she she's dealing it with sabr then all the problem and awaiting will feel like a blessing instead of a burden. As long as we live, then we all always facing choices in life. Wrong choices will affect our life, but mistakes aren't to be regretted but to be corrected. We are brave enough to live then we also have to be brave to make choices and deal with the consequences. Keep praying and making du'as and involve Allah in every decision we have to make. InsyaAllah, Allah will show us the right way. Ameen.

Translation of Al-Bakarah 184:
"The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for mankind, and clear proofs of the guidance, and the Criterion (of right and wrong). And whosoever of you is present, let him fast the month, and whosoever of you is sick or on a journey, (let him fast the same) number of other days. Allah desireth for you ease; He desireth not hardship for you; and (He desireth) that ye should complete the period, and that ye should magnify Allah for having guided you, and that peradventure ye may be thankful."

Ramadan Mubarak to You all. May Allah accept our fast and good deeds. Ameen

Sorry for the absence, I've been busy these days. May Allah be pleased with us all. Love You All For the sake of Allah

Sulitnya Membuat Pilihan

Dalam hidup, kita akan selalu dihadapkan pada pilihan.Hidup itu adalah pilihan, begitu pepatahnya. Sedari kita dalam kandunganpun, kita katanya telah membuat pilihan. Ketika kita masih kecil dan belajar untuk berjalan, kitapun dihadapkan pada pilihan, bayangkan bila kita telah lelah untuk terus belajar berjalan dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk merangkak atau ngesot, kaya suster ngesot, hehehe :D. Tapi, manusia diciptakan dengan akal dan pikiran, berbeda dengan hewan yang tidak dapat membedakan yang baik atau buruk, kita dapat membedakannya. Kita tahu mana yang baik atau buruk, benar atau salah yang kemudian kita ejawantahkan dalam suatu keputusan untuk memilih.

Bila kita dihadapkan pada dua pilihan, baik atau buruk, hal yang sangat kita sukai ataupun yang sangat kita benci, maka proses dalam mengambil sebuah keputusan akanlah mudah. Tetapi bagaimana bila kita dihadapkan pada beberapa pilihan yang hampir kesemuanya kita suka. Tentunya akan sangat sulit, apalagi bila hal ini menyangkut pilihan terbesar dalam hidup kita yang nantinya sedikit banyak menentukan jalan hidup kita. Bagaimana kita tahu bahwa jalan yang kita ambil bukan jalan yang salah? Bagaimana kita mengetahui rencana Tuhan nantinya? Sebagai seorang Muslim, kita punya Tuhan yang selalu dapat diandalkan, Allah maha tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Do'a adalah interaksi manusia dengan khaliknya, dengan berdo'a kita telah melibatkan Allah dalam sebuah pengambilan keputusan yang kita buat. Segala sesuatu yang terlihat buruk dimata kita, belum tentu buruk dimata Allah. Maka, berdoa adalah suatu jalan yang terbaik, tetapi apakah hanya dengan berdoa, lalu semua dapat teratasi dan kita akan mendapatkan jawaban terbaik. Tentu hanya Allah sajalah yang tahu, Allahlah yang menentukan, kita manusia hanyalah dapat berusaha dan menyerahkan segala sesuatunya pada Allah.

Hal yang terpenting dalam suatu pengambilan keputusan adalah, jangan pernah memutuskan sesuatu dalam keadaan hati yang galau, emosi yang tidak stabil atau kondisi kesehatan yang kurang baik. Merenunglah sesaat lalu putuskan ketika hati telah tenang. Jangan pernah pula mengambil keputusan yang berdasarkan ikut-ikutan atau karena gengsi. Pilihlah sesuatu karena kita suka dan ingin melakukannya.

Tapi kita hanyalah manusia, ada saatnya kita berbuat salah. Kita lupa berdoa dan membuat pilihan yang salah dalam hidup kita. Menyesali pilihan dalam hidup sesekali memang pernah terjadi, sayapun pernah beberapa kali membuat pilihan yang salah, tapi saya sadar bahwa menyesal tanpa memperbaiki itu tak ada gunanya. Mungkin tak semua pilihan saya adalah yang terbaik, tapi inilah hidup. Hidup adalah sebuah proses, proses untuk meraih sesuatu yang lebih baik. Menjadi lebih baik adalah tantangan dalam menjalani hidup setiap hari. Adakalanya proses itu dapat dilalui dengan mudah, tapi tak jarang pula semuanya harus melewati fase yang tidak nikmat, susah atau bahkan menderita. Tetapi jika kita menjalaninya dengan hati yang lapang dan perasaan gembira, maka semua itu tidak akan terasa berat.

Seperti seorang ibu yang mengandung, walaupun harus mengalami penantian yang panjang dengan segala masalah kehamilan yang dihadapi, tapi bila dijalani dengan sabar maka semua itu akan dirasakan sebagai sebuah anugrah dan bukanlah beban. Selama kita masih hidup, maka selama itulah kita akan dihadapkan pada pilihan-pilihan. Salah memilih akan berpengaruh banyak dalam hidup kita, tetapi kesalahan bukanlah sesuatu yang harus disesali melainkan diperbaiki. Berani hidup berarti berani membuat pilihan dan menanggung segala resikonya. Terus berdoa dan libatkan Allah dalam segala keputusan yang kita buat, InsyaAllah Allah akan memberikan jalan yang terbaik.

Salam Damai.
Kampanye Damai Pemilu Indonesia 2009

This isn't a poem, hehe

This is not a poem, just a thought, hehe

In every life journey, we will stumble and faltered
Failure isn't something to be wallowing about and grieved
It is something to look upon
And to be made as a lesson

There are time we feel overjoyed
Blissfully happy and drowned in ecstasy
There are time we will feel distressed
Feels like the world falling over and leave us in misery

Eventually,happiness will come
Failed once doesn't mean destined to fail for all time
Maybe we are destined to meet the wrong person and made a mistake
Before we finally meet our soul mate
in order to make us appreciating every human being who came into our life

This is a poem dedicated for my sister who is blissfully happy with her wedding, I am so happy for u sis, hope u will always be happy, InsyaAllah.

It's every girl's dreams about her wedding
That blissfully special day.
After years of waiting and hoping
Allah has finally shown you the way

You've found your perfect man
Who will loves and cherishes you.
Your loving vows unite your souls,
Creating one heart shared by two.

Marriage is a promise to compromise
Remove all doubts and selfishness
Life is never prefect and we could never surmise,
Would forever be our happiness

Give freely and unconditionally.
Enjoy a life filled with mutual caring.
I wish you a wonderful marriage
With sweet joys that make life endearing.

From this day forward, may you honor your oath,
I wish everlasting happiness to you both.

I know we'll still be the best of friends
We have promised to the end
I know that even though you have some 1 to share your life
InsyaAllah I will always be a part of your life

Why do we read Qur'an, even if we can't understand a single Arabic word????

This is a beautiful story

An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa wakeup early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Quran. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could. One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Qur'an just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?" The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water." The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the bas ket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his gradpa

that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would Leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breathe, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!". "So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket." The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out. "Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.

I use to think this way too, why reading something when I don't even know the meaning. Why not learning and try understanding the meaning, then I'll read it when i could at least comprehend it. Reading and understanding the meaning is best, but that doesn't mean we who couldn't understand the meaning should not even try reading it. InsyaAllah Allah will reward and counts every deeds we did,Ameen.

Life's a Tug of War

Dedicated to my brother who's feeling down. Cheer up for life's nuthin but a tug of war, face it like a brave soldier. InshaAllah, the war will be over soon and declare you as the winner.

Life's Tug Of War
by Author Unknown

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind.
Life can be blissful and happy and free.
Life can put beauty in the things that you see.
Life can place challenges right at your feet.
Life can make good of the hardships we meet.
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin.
Life can reward those determined to win.
Life can be hurtful and not always fair.
Life can surround you with people who care.
Life clearly does offer its ups and its downs.
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns.
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad.
Life is a mixture of happy and sad.

SO...

Take the life that you have and give it your best.
Think positive be happy let God do the rest.
Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet.
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet.
To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall.
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all..
Take the love that you're given and return it with care.
Have faith that when needed it will always be there.
Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see.
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free.
The idea here is simply to even the score.
As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War.

Nationalism VS Brotherhood in Islam

These days we might encounter tragic wars in every part of the world amongst the Moslems, we often wonder why we Moslems can’t be united. Why is this happening? Allah SAW has sent Islam with Heavenly Rules, it’s not only arranging the process of praying and worshipping but also for arranging the relationship between people, nations and communities so that they can govern themselves with Islam. Allah has created mankind in diversity, not to instigate the war and proving which nation, which tribe, which community is the best amongst all. It is none other than to make us learn from each other and it should have open our eyes and realize that behind all of the differencies we have, we have 1 thing in common, it is our deen, Islam, therefore it should have strengthen our bond instead of weaken them. Through Islam there will be a good relationship between and amongst people. Nationalism itself is an alien concept in Islam because it calls for unity based on family and tribalistic ties, whereas Islam binds people together on the`Aqeedah, that is to believe in Allah SAW and Prophet Muhammad SAW. Islam calls for the ideological bond and most people all over the world have the same ideological bond to unite us.

It is sad to see these days how Moslems take more pride in their nationality rather than their deen, even when I came to Islamic chat room I could find Moslems abusing their Moslem brothers, start comparing which nation is the best and then boasting about the superiority of their nation comparing to others. I have written in my earlier post which calls for my fellow countrymen to unite and take more pride in our nationality. I did not mean this as a call to mock other nation since they are different from ours; this is none other to unite amongst ourselves in a small scale. When we are talking in a larger scale, i.e the whole world, then we have to make our priority. I was saying in my earlier post that before we are a citizen of each nation, we are first a human being who submits to Allah’s rules, so before we are the citizen of a nation, firstly we are the humble servant of Allah who has testified and make a pledge to Allah to serve HIM and obey HIM. So, one should not take more pride in their language, culture or even customs. It meant nothing infront of Allah. It has been a common sense that when there are more than 2 people speak in the same rooom doing a conversation, and other’s could not understand what are we saying, it is best to switch the language everybody could understand and therefore they could contribute more to the conversation. I have seen and observing how even a language could create such a tremendous problem and calls for a separation between the Ummah. We let Shaitan sneak in and build hatred amongst self. Shaitan always likes to come in between people in order to bring enmity among them. He loves to plant jealousy and envy that would bring about enmity among the children of Adam. He is trying to bring every bad thing into order to destroy them. Every Fitna comes from Shaitan and from the people who follow Shaitan from every direction. When they follow Shaitan even the nations will become enemies to each other, even small things make us fight and separating ourselves from the bond of Brotherhood in Islam. Allah SWT the Creator does not use the color or mother tongue of people to judge them be they Arab or not. Instead, it is the level of their awareness of Allah which is the criterion. Allah has even mention this in surah Al Hujurat :

[49:13] O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”

Allah SWT does not make a nation superior to others; in HIS eyes all are equal. HE won’t judge you and put you in a special place due to your nationality, HE judge people by their deeds, amal and taqwa. The Arabs are no less special than others who were born a non Arab. The choice of Arabic as the language of the Qur'an is explained very simply and clearly as follows in surah Fussilah :

[41:44] And if We (Allah) had made it a Qur'an in a foreign tongue, they would certainly have said: "Why have not its communications been made clear? What! a foreign (tongue) and an Arab!" Say: It is, to those who believe, a guidance and a healing; and (as for) those who do not believe, there is a heaviness in their ears and it is obscure to them; these shall be called to from a far-off place.

There is no nationality in Islam; Allah SAW says that all believers are brothers and sisters to each other. Never say and addressed ourself a citizen of a nation and be proud of it more than our pride to be a Moslem. Do not say I am a Turk, I am an Arab, I am Kurdish, I am a British or I am an Indonesian. No, we are believers, we are submitters, we are Muslims and there is no other honour of being something above this. I am no better than you for being an Indonesian and neither are you for being something else. We, as Moslems are ordered to walk on the right path, and to follow the right path, a careful and wise steps are needed in order not to get lost and strayed into the wrong path. A wrong step could misguide and mislead you to the damnation. And if we consider this life’s torment as bizarre, then try to think of what will the torment in eternal hellfire would be.

"O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared and die not except in a state of Islam with complete submission to Allah. And hold fast, all of you together, to the rope of Allah (i.e. Qur'an), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah's favors on you; for you were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace you became brothers; and you were on the brink of the pit of fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allah make His signs clear to you that you may be guided." [Surah Al'Imran (3); ayah 102-103]

It is to be understood that in the verses quoted above Allah SWT has ordered the Muslims to hold fast to the book of Allah, His Deen, and to his covenant, and He has forbidden the Muslims to divide amongst themselves and to dispute with each other. Tribal ties have no place in Islam. Muslims are commanded to stick together and not to disassociate themselves from each other just because they come from different tribes. Prophet Muhammad also said,

"The believers, in their love, mutual kindness, and close ties, are like one body; when any part complains, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever." [HR. Muslim].

Meaning that the Muslims, regardless of their nationality and origin, are one Ummah and they cannot be separated from each other. No tribalistic ties should ever break their unity. My brothers and sister, our time in this world is temporary. One day surely death shall come to us and time to answer for what have we done in the world has arrived. Therefore be careful and think about how you will be addressed by Allah SAW on the Day of Judgment, on the Day of Resurrection. For he won’t ask what nation were u belong to, instead HE will ask what is your religion, and there will be no place for the nationalism pride to take place. Hold on to the rope of Islam; make Islam our one and only pride. May Allah guide us all and unite us. Ameen.

Polygyny, permitted not encouraged

A few days ago when I was in a conversation with a client, suddenly it was interrupted by a phone call, my client attended to the phone call and I could hear him yelling at the phone. A couple of minutes later, he said sorry and said, that’s what we should do to put women in their place, they need to know that her position could be replaced anytime anywhere if she’s not obedient. And then without being asked he start telling me that he has 2 wives, in search for the third, and then with his cocky manner he said that it’s the law of Allah to allowed men doing polygamy and it’s women’s duty to accepted their destiny instead of going against it and defying Allah’s order.

This got me thinking and wondering, is this how men looked upon Polygamy and marriage in general, just because they can and they have the ways and means to do it then by all means lets do it, damn the rest . I am going to use the term Polygyny in my further comment, because terminologically, Polygamy means the condition of having more than one spouse at a time, and then it was divided into two, Polyandry which means the condition or practice of having more than one husband at one time and Polygyny which means the condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time, but as daily communication, it is well known and being socialized to use Polygamy to refer to Polygyny act. This thing happened because of the gender bias in society which assume that it is impossible for women to marry more than one husband. So in order to breach the gender bias, I am gonna use the term Polygyny. I have never opposed to Polygyny because I know and understand that Islam allows men to have more than 1 wife, 4 at a maximum, if they want to, without any reasonable cause even. But it is obvious that these days men use Islam and Qur'an especially to use Polygyny as a medieval institution, which was invented by man to fulfill his sexual lust and to keep women under his authority. Every argument was brought to forth in order to justify this act. Starting from the reason that female population outnumbered male's population, women's fertility, a man's wealth, also the reason that a men's sexual needs are greater than those of women, and dignifying women's status in society. Of course, if we search, we won't find these arguments in Qur'an or Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). These arguments have been invented by some "Ulama" to justify polygamy and satisfying men's lust to be exact.

Because all those reason are not valid, fertility for instance does not belong to women only, but in our society often blame is pointed on woman for failing to give birth to child, and as for using sexual needs as a reason really implied how wicked their thoughts are, man is not created a mere sexual animal that he cannot restrain his sexual needs, Allah has given us brain to think and control our nafs rather than following every whims we have. But sadly, we could find these days, men who did polygyny for their wicked purpose rather than a noble one. Some so called pious men even dare to threatened women, both the earlier wife and his candidate of other wife by saying that Allah has make it clear in the Qur'an that Polygyny is allowed, and it's done by our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) to be taken as an example, whoever go against the Qur'an and Allah's will is doing a great sin and could be classified as the kaffir. Subhanallah, wouldn't a mere human being get shivering in her boots if they were threatened like that. And then later on they were thinking, will Allah be so cruel to women that men were given the authority and the right to do anything they want while women can only obey it. Allah is the most compassionate, the most merciful, will the most compassionate and merciful would be so cruel to encourage a cruel act. The answer is no, women were given the same right as men, women can choose, women can fight, women can say NO if they don't want to, women are not obliged to men by obeying and summoning to their orders. Allah by HIS words in Qur'an allows polygyny, not encouraging it. If we are looking at the Qur'an thoroughly, and not just looking per part of the verse, we would find that Polygyny has certain condition, One must take up the verses on polygyny in the Qur'an and explain them not merely as isolated verses but in the total spirit of the Qur'an. There are two verses in the Qur'an as far as Polygyny is concerned, i.e., 4:3 and 4:129. Both verses are equally important to determine the Qur'an approach to the controversial issue of polygamy.

(4:2,3)And give to the orphans their property, and do not substitute worthless (things) for (their) good (ones),and do not devour their property (as an addition) to your own property; this is surely a great crime. And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.

(4:129)(And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish (it), but be not disinclined (from one) with total disinclination, so that you leave her as it were in suspense; and if you effect a reconciliation and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

In the verse, 4:2,3 we will find that Polygyny is allowed with certain conditions which is justice, if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one, by this words we could draw a conclusion that one needs to be extra careful to do Polygyny. By the word FEAR, who do we fear in this context, it is none other than Allah. It means that if we can't do justice then fear Allah's wrath. Justice in this context are widely interpretated, it is not exclusively pointing out to a specific kind of justice, justice could mean equity and fair treatment beetween each wives, equitable and fair treatment implies to equal maintenance and equal facilities to all the wives and also includes equal love. Can the polygynist fullfill all this requirement, if they fear that they can't then i think one should think twice before went through with it. And in the verse 4:129, we will find the continuation of the earlier verse in which has stated that no matter what, one can't do justice to each wives, however hard one strive for it. Polygyny can at best be an exception rather than a rule. It is allowed rather than encouraged, permissive but not a necessity. Allah has created men and women equal, in deeds and their strive for deen. Allah is the most Gracious and the most Merciful, shared HIS love equally to every mankind, be it a man or a woman. One shouldn't hide behind Islam and Qur'an to satisfy their own wicked thoughts. Islam is a submission of the creation to the creator, in this extent human to Allah, not submission of women's will to men. Allah knows best every intention we make.

Islam - the only solution for humanity

This article was a comment my sister Learner has given to my earlier post titled “DREAM WORLD” and then she thought it’ll be better to make it into another article. So this is it after some addition and correction I made, thanks to my sister learner for contributing her thoughts.

Today in world we watch , hear and read about crimes, wars,injustice, oppression,hatred , selfishness, jealousy, pride and we all complain that the world is devoid of peace and the blame game goes on, peace treaties and agreements are made by the so called peace loving leaders but no solution was made. Instead of creating peace, another war was created.

Evil has creeped in to every part of the world and it seems impossible in reality to have a peaceful world but it is still possible , yes I say it is possible because to every problem there is a solution
and the one and only solution for a peaceful world is "ISLAM",
the word ISLAM itself implies peace and bringing it into our lives can heal the world from all evils. A question may arise how can Islam heal the world, Islam is the religion chosen by our LORD, CREATOR, THE ONLY ONE for the whole mankind. The major conflicts in the world are due to differences in one's belief and ideas which results in each one proving themselves to be right. Therefore having a faith in ONE LORD discards all false beliefs and makes ourselves resign to the will of ONE LORD.

All religions originated with Allah and then people began to add or take away from the teachings so as to take control over each other.
Allah does not force anyone to submit to Him. He has laid out a clear path and then made it known to them the two ways (Heaven or Hell). The person is always free to make his or her own choice.
People began to separate into different groups due to their rejection of truth and denial of clear proofs becoming evident to them from their Lord. Allah will only accept true submission, obedience and in purity and peace to His commandments. To believe in Allah and follow His Commandments has been the message of all prophets of monotheism. And until one day Allah has chosen HIS last Prophet, Mohammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) to spread Islam.

Islam enjoins faith in the Oneness and Sovereignty of God, which makes man aware of the meaningfulness of the Universe and his place in it. This belief frees him from all fears and superstitions by making him conscious of the presence of Almighty Allah and of man's obligations towards Him. Belief in one God requires that we look upon all humanity as one family irrespective of colour, class, race or territory, under the protection of Allah the Creator and Nourisher of all. Islam rejects the idea of a chosen people, making faith in Allah and good action the only way to Heaven. Thus a direct relationship is established with Allah; open to all alike, without any mediator.

Islam not only teaches all well but shows in practicality how can one achieve righteousness, its not only limited to faith and worship but guides in every aspect of our lives. The way of life shown by Allah our CREATOR, SUSTAINER is no doubt the perfect. It is the same for the whole humanity be it a rich person or poor, a king or a slave, black or white thus uniting the whole mankind. Our LORD teaches and guides us in every matter of life, leadership, business,marriage, education, relationships, inheritance,etc etc. There is not a single aspect of life in which Islam does not guide us.

Islam teaches all that is good and forbids all that is bad for mankind. It teaches us love, brotherhood irrespective of any race or caste, honesty, kindness, selflessness, good manners, humbleness, piety. It forbids hatred, dishonesty, pride, selfishness, jealousy, hurting anyone, backbiting, stealing, killing, adultery, bribe, and oppression.

Thus it is the perfect code of life for the whole humanity, our LORD is "ONE", our way of life is "ONE ", our purpose of life is "ONE "and our ultimate goal is "ONE", Islam unites the whole mankind by its teachings . When there is unity among us then peace will automatically prevail. Human beings live according to their view of life. The tragedy of secular societies is that they fail to connect the different aspects of life. The secular and the religious, the scientific and the spiritual seem to be in conflict. Islam puts an end to this conflict and brings harmony to man's vision of life.

But then, the question arises again, is being Muslim and embracing Islam enough to create peace on earth? If that’s the case then why do Muslims fight each other? . I think this was happening because people starts idolating a person and praise that person and put that idol as the same level as Allah Himself. So that whenever other sects are having dispute over their leader then they were straightly fight in the name of their leader, not for the sake of their GOD. They forgot that Allah is the ONE and ONLY CREATOR that needs to be worshiped, leaders, Khalifahs, and even Prophets are only to be respected and followed accordingly, not to be worshiped. Islam does not teach or accept mere ritualism. It emphasizes intention and action. To worship Allah is to know Him and love Him, to act upon His laws in every aspect of life, to enjoin goodness and forbid evil and oppression, to practice charity and justice and to serve Him by serving mankind. Islam seeks to implant in man's heart the strongest conviction that his every thought and action are known by Allah, Who sees him at all times and in all places. Being a Muslim is the solution, holding on to Tawheed is the continuation and following Sharia laws is the perfection. May Allah guides us all.

can women visit grave

A few days ago I was discussing in chat room regarding this issue, so I sendquestion to www.islamtoday.com to get a second opinion. Herewith I enclosed my Question and the answer they gave me :

Question :
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuuh I have a question which i knew several women have asked about this before, which is can women visit grave, i've been asking abt this n was given various answers. But those who said no were saying that women can't visit grave because they will bring fitnah since they will encounter other people with different gender, which are male. But here in our family, we make a private graveyard for family only. Therefore i'm assuming tht we wont bring fitnah since we wont meet any other people besides our own family. This will be all. Jazakallah Khairan for the help.

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Answer:

Dear questioner:

Al-Salam `Alaykum wa Rahmah Allah wa Barakatuh.

Al-Alb�n� is of the opinion that women may visit the graves, and that is preferred for them to do so, but that they should not do so excessively.

Evidence that women are encouraged to visit the graveyard

He supported his opinion that women are encouraged just like men to visit the graves with the following evidence:

1. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: I had prohibited you from visiting the graves, but now I encourage you to visit them. [Sahih Muslim (977)]

In another narration it reads: I had prohibited you from visiting the graves, but now I encourage you to visit them, because they are a reminder of the Hereafter. [Sunan Abu Dawud (3235) and Musnad Ahmad (23005)]

In Sunan al-Nas��, it reads: �Indeed, I had prohibited you from three things: from visiting the graves, but now I encourage you to visit them, and may your visiting them increase you in goodness, [Sunan al-Nas�� (4429 and 5653)]

This encouragement includes women, because when the Prophet (peace be upon him) had been prohibiting his followers from visiting the graves, the prohibition had been meant equally for men and for women. Therefore, when he lifted the prohibition, he did so for both men and women.

2. Women are equal with men with respect to the purpose for visiting the graves: which is to be reminded of the Hereafter and to soften the hearts.

3. The Prophet (peace be upon him) permitted women to visit the graves.

`Abd Allah b. Abu Mulaykah relates: `Aishah came one day from the graveyard, so I said: O Mother of Believers, from where have you come? She said: From the grave of `Abd al-Rahman b. Abu Bakr.I said: Did not the Prophet (peace be upon him) forbid visiting the graves? She said: Yes, then he commanded us to visit them

[Mustadrak al- Hakim (1/376), Sunan al-Bayhaqi (4/78) and Tamhid Ibn `Abd al-Barr (3/233)]

In another narration, it reads at the end: Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) permitted visiting the graves. [Sunan Ibn Majah (1570)
Al-Alb�n� comments: Al-Hakim does not talk about it and Imam al-Dhahab� says: It is an authentic hadith. Al-Busayra says: Its line of transmission is authentic and its men are trustworthy. The ruling on this had�th is as they have stated.

4. The Prophet (peace be upon him) saw a woman crying at a grave so he told her: Fear Allah and be patient. [Sahih al-Bukhari (1252)] He did not forbid her from staying at the grave.

Evidence that women are not to make frequent visits to the graveyard

The proof that they should not be frequent visitors comes in the following hadith:

1. Abu Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) cursed the women who are frequent visitors of the graves. [Sunan al-Tirmidhi (1056) Sunan Ibn Majah (1576)] This had�th is at least good (hasan), and it is supported by other narrations to the level of being authentic (sahih).

2. Hassan b. The bit relates: Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) cursed the women who are frequent visitors of the graves. [Sunan Ibn Majah (1574)] Al-Alb�n� declares this hadith to be acceptable (maqbal) and sufficient for strengthening the hadith of Abu Hurayrah to the level of authetic (sahih).

There is a hadith related by Ibn `Abbas, which reads in certain narrations: Allah’s Messenger cursed the women who visit graves. Sunan al-Tirmidhi (320), Sunan Abu Dawud (3236), Sunan al-Nas (2034), and Sunan Ibn Majah (1575)] The word here is z�ir�t (women who visit) instead of zaww�r�t (women who are frequent visitors).

However, this hadith is weak because one of its narrators, Abu Salih, is weak.
Also, even some narrations of this hadith mention frequent visitors instead of a women who visit.On this basis, al-Alb�n� concludes: It therefore becomes clear regarding this hadith that the properly preserved wording is frequent visitors , since this is what is agreed upon in the hadith of Abu Hurayrah and the hadith of Hassan, as well as the narration of the majority of narrators of the hadith of Ibn `Abbas. He then says: The word zaww�r�t indicates that the curse is directed only at women who visit the graves excessively and no one else. Therfore, this hadith cannot be used to contradict the previously mentioned hadith that indicate it is encouraged for women to visit the graveyard, because this hadith is specific and those hadith are general. Each hadith, therefore, must be applied to its own context.

He explains the reason why women should not visit the graves excessively: This could lead them to fall into something that is contrary to Islamic teachings, like wailing, making a public display of themselves, taking the graves as places or relaxation and holiday, or wasting time in idle conversation. This is just like the situation that we see today in some Muslim countries. This is what is meant by the hadith.

[Refer to: al-Albani, Ahkam al-Janaiz (229-237)]

Fatwa Department Research Committee of IslamToday.net chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhab al-Turayr

Dream world

My dream for my country is the same dream I have for all countries in the world. I dream that we will, as a human race, be free of our own prejudice, which is the worst illness afflicting us all. I dream that war will be a thing of the past, because history proved that there are nothing which can be gained by war but misery. How much more blood should be shed in order to prove who is more superior than others, how many more mothers, wives, kids should be crying for the loss of their sons, husbands or fathers just to prove mine is better than yours crap.

I dream that no one will be attacked because they are different in any way. I dream that if you are Muslim and I'm not it will make no difference and vice versa. And as a Muslim, I hope that my fellow Muslims would just stop saying death and and cursing others who has different beliefs from us. We the Muslims are people who submits ourselves to Allah and therefore I believe that Allah wouldn't want us to wish death on others nor kill everyone who posed no threat to our religion. Instead we should show them what a beautiful religion Islam is and how peaceful and friendly the Moslems are. Because this has happened to change my view and way of life, I submit because I have been seeing how peaceful and friendly the Moslems in my neighbourhood are behaving. I have been lucky because Allah has shown me this nice behaviour earlier instead of the radicals view some Moslems have. God forbid, if it happens otherwise. Imagine, if this could happened to me then the same thing could happen to anyone else.

I dream that we will achieve the freedom of speech in practical terms, instead of just a literal term. Everybody should be free to say what is it on their mind without having the fear of a death threat imposing on them. But please note that we have to say only what is right with the pure intention of goodness in mind. There are a few things we shouldn't mess with our so called freedom of speech, and one of them is the spiritual world some people choose, and that means religion. There are boundaries to our freedom of speech and it's about time we use it for other honest and pure goal than just satisfying our own shallow mind.
I personally admire people who says what's on their mind and back it up with their good intention, not just speak out for their minds only but also voicing the majorities and fight for them. I am not a Shia but I admire the president of Iran so much, for his courage and determination. Fight for what's right and fight against evil. And the most important thing is if we are a Muslim, we have to fight for our deen but in a moderate way, not behaving like the savages did. Even Jihad has strict rules which we have to obey.

I dream that we will all learn and use the universal declaration of human rights. That people will stop publishing hate filled lies about minorities or majorities, that the day comes when we can all trust one another. As a kid, I never had to lock my doors, never had to suspect anyone. I want that day to return. People become "bad" only when they are afraid like animals only attack when they feel they are in danger. Some times people are afraid of something that poses no danger to them whatsoever. Because we are different, we aren't evil. If one cared to look, one would see that in all human groups and civilizations, there are some small amount of people who can think only of their own good and who are dishonest, and that the vast majority are good at heart. That past the first original differences, there are many more similarities, and much more we can all agree on with out having to change our identity. We can learn to settle the dispute in a rational debate without involving the hatred and opening the slightest bit of space for devil to sneak in and makes matters worse. Thus, don't argue just for the sake of arguing but chose to stick our head in the sand and refusing to accept other's opinion, don't be goaded into proving WHO is right but prove WHAT is right and fight for it in civilized manner. I believe in man as a race, I admire people who make mistakes and have the strength to realize it and learn from it.

I dream that someday, there will be no room for hatred, prejudice or distrust, instead the world will have finally grown up after the thousands of years of pain and hate and wars and lies. I don't think it is impossible at all. I have faith in my God, Allah. Thanks for reading this, for being strong and not afraid to speak. It is people who speak up and are not afraid to take a stand with ideas and not violence that make this world a better world. Happiness does exist and it is possible for all of us. I hope it will be yours as it will be mine soon. May light and not darkness rule the land. May the true spirit of God prevail and not the spirit of hatred.

Muslims-monitors of the world

Allah SWT has honored us {the ummat of MUHAMMAD SAW} by calling us the BEST UMMAT and it is mentioned in Qur'an :,

(Al-Imran:110) Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. If only the People of the Book had faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors.

(Al-An'Am:165) It is He Who hath made you (His) agents, inheritors of the earth: He hath raised you in ranks, some above others: that He may try you in the gifts He hath given you: for thy Lordis quick in punishment: yet He is indeed Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

It never ceases to amaze me how, even though Allah calls Muslims as the "best of peoples", evolved for mankind" (3:110) and has appointed humans as "his agents , inheritors of the earth (6:165), we are often negligent when it comes to caring for this Earth that is our home and that of our children and their children as well.

Allah SWT clearly explains us our duty that we are the monitors of the world. It's a duty given to us by OUR CREATOR for instance , in a school, every pupil knows the rules to abide but still a monitor is appointed to keep a check on them and if the students do any mischief in spite of monitor being there then the monitor is to be blamed. If the monitor done their duty well , then the students will behave well and thus discipline will be maintained in the school. In the same way, if people in this world are going astray and up to mischief , we Muslims are to be blamed as we are not doing our duty and rather following the masses who are on the wrong path.

It is our duty to tell people they are wrong when we know they are wrong and advising them to stop doing it. I have ever heard a saying "The best of you is the one most useful to others. It's the least thing we can do to do good thing, be helpfull. Being Muslim is not just about attending Halaqas and coming to gatherings but social justice, harmony are amongst it. It's not 'volunteer work' for Muslims, it's caring, guardianship for the creation of Allah who Allah made us a Khalifah of. Islam is and has been a socially conscious, useful, and egalitarian way of life, we believe we are only as good as the poorest,weakest amongst us. ALLAH connects Taqwa,Iman, Ihsan and all other "religious concepts" to practical humanitarian work. Pray for others because what you wish for Allah to grant another person is what Allah will grant you " don't rely on your own dua's for yourself, pray for others so that they may pray for you. Make action points from everything we learn, e.g. what can we do put a book we just read into practice. And don't take 'lack of knowledge' as an excuse for not doing something, but instead use it as an opportunity to learn, that is practical useful knowledge that becomes wisdom, instead of just data, facts, and tidbits.

ALLAH SWT doesn't need us to make Islam flourish, rather its an honor that we have been given such a task by which we can be the best ummah.If we don't do our duty with which Allah has sent us. ALLAH says that HE will raise other people in our place and they wont be like us. It's high time that we first correct ourselves then convey the message of our LORD to the world. It's the duty and responsibility of each and every Muslim to fulfill this task, i.e to enjoin good and forbid wrong. We will be questioned about it on the day of Judgment and will be answerable before our Lord. By doing our task we can make this world devoid of all mischief ,thus establish peace on earth.

Alhamdulillah

What is the meaning of alhamdulillah? It is usually translated as, 'All praise is due to Allah.' Which has ledmany of us to use the phrase, Alhamdulillah wa shukr Allah.' But this is very incorrect because Alhamdulillah is actually a word of praise that includes within it a greater gratitude or shukr for what Allah has ordained, and as Muslims, we are supposed to use it when we are presented with that which appears good and with that which appears bad.

But, in the reality of our lives, what is alhamdulillah? What does it truly mean? Is just a word on our lips? Or is it a genuine feeling in our hearts? Someone once told me that Alhamdulillah means when you don't have something youneedorwant, you are content with your fate; when you have a limited quantity of that thing, you are content with it, and you try to share it, and when you have a lot, you are content, and you are searching for ways to share it more. In other words, no matter what your condition, you are grateful to Allah for that condition. It is a recognition that all that Allah has given us or taken from us is the best for us.

In practical terms, what does this mean. There is an example that I like to use when I speak of Allah's Knowledge and Power over us that may help illustrate my meaning. When I was living alone faraway from my homeland, I had the most beautiful white cat. I loved this cat very much. It used to wake me up for fajr, and I considered it a great blessing in my life. The problem, however, was that my landlady did not allow pets in my apartment. This meant that the cat's presence had to remain a secret. One day, the landlady called and told me that she was coming that day to do the periodic spraying for roaches. I knew I had to hide the cat, but in such a way that he did not come home again from where I put him, so I decided to take him to a friend's house for the day. So, I grabbed my cat, and took him inside the taxi i was hailing. On the way to her house, the cat went crazy. He was clawing at me and at one point attached himself to the back of my head. I guess he had never been in a car before, and was terrified. He thought this was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to him. Now, I had information that the cat did not. I knew that my actions were actually a salvation for him. If my landlady had found the cat, we would have both been homeless. But, of course, there was no way for the cat to know this. It was beyond his comprehension.

What is the point here? Well, Allah places us in many situations that are similar. He provides us with circumstances that in our limited understanding and perception we find to be disastrous. We can react to them as the cat did, with fear and pure animal instincts, or we can recognize Allah's Wisdom and Superior Knowledge, and be content with the situation because we have faith that it is somehow better for us to experience this. To be content with it, would be to live out Alhamdulillah. It would show our acceptance of Allah's Power over us, our recognition of His care for us, and our gratitude for His Mercy.

For Allah says,

"...This is of the grace of my Lord that He may try me whether I am grateful or ungrateful; and whoever is grateful, he is grateful only for his own soul, and whoever is ungrateful, then surely my Lord is Self-sufficient, Honored. (27:40).

The nice taxi driver

Assalamualaikum, Yesterday i have experienced the most amazing event, a disaster and at the same time an eye opener. When i was on my way home, i decided to took a taxi since my body condition's not so well. I felt dizzy and giddy, and started sweating heavily, when a taxi come across in front of me, i went straight hailing it, not caring of the taxi's name which is uncommon for me to do, i use to fuss a lot about taxi's name since there's a lot of crime done in taxi, especially in a not so well known taxi but at that time I don't care about that, all I know is I'm feeling bad and I have to get home ASAP. I went inside and lay my head, i was feeling nauseated, woozy, perspiring, and my head was spinning like crazy and then it's a total black out for me. When i woke up i was lying in a white walled room, i looked around, and saw my mother beside me, looking at me worriedly, remnant of tears still visible on both of her cheeks. I felt like cursing myself for bringing those tears into her eyes. Because none of this thing would have ever happened if i didn't neglect my own health. I have recurring fever for more than a week, any sane person would have taken it more seriously, OK grampa u could call me insane for this :p, i deserved it. But i have taken it casually instead, i acted like nothing was wrong, hoping that someday this ailment will go away. OK, enough of this.
My first question to my mom when i recover from my faint was how did i get here?. My mom said she got a call from a man, using my mobile and told her i fainted in his taxi and now in hospital. And then I remember what happen before, I was in a taxi on my way home. So I asked my mom, did she pay the taxi driver and she said no. By the time she got there, the taxi driver was no longer there. I went silent and never stop saying shukr Alhamdulillah for Allah's blessing upon me. I read and heard so many times about crime which has occurring lately in taxi, and the victim were all conscious at that time. I was unconscious , which made me an easy target. Anything bad could have happened to me during the time I was unconscious, but Alhamdulillah Allah has protected me. None of my belonging was lost, and the most important thing is NOTHING has happened to me. It was rare nowadays to found such a nice decent person who's willing to help with the pure thought of helping, expect nothing in return. But those people DO exist no matter how rare. To the taxi driver, thank you for helping me, may Allah reward you for your kindness. And Alhamdulillah, all praise to Allah for HIS guidance and love. I got two valuable lessons for this, first is prevention for illness is better than having to go through medication process, never take things to casually, health is a valuable possession we can never replace with anything in life. Second is to be help full, to whomever, wherever, whenever and expect nothing but reward from Allah.Inshaallah, every good deeds we done will always be rewarded, here in this life or in hereafter. Ameen.

Quranic Perspective on Wife beating and Abuse

Islam and Muslims have long been accused of mistreating women. Whether by by false accusation or a facts with supporting proofs, people are relying on the media barrage of awful stereotypes to formulate this opinion. Muslim men are perceived as violent, cruel and barbaric towards women in general, but especially towards their own wives, daughters and sisters.The fact is that such disgusting behavior does occur in the Muslim world, for many of the same reasons it also occurs in every part of the world. Domestic violence represented by wife beating or abuse is rampant around the world. While the exact numbers on domestic violence incidents differ, because this is such an under-reported crime there are statistics on which most experts agree.
However, what could be said to distinguish women's mistreatment in the Muslim world is the general lack of Islamic education amongst men and women about day-to-day matters, including the roles and rights of women.Mistreatment and abuse of women, and wives in particular is condemned by Islam. Consider the following Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira in Tirmidhi: the Prophet (SAW) said,"The one most perfect in his faith is he whose conduct is best and the best amongst you is he who behaves best towards his wife." So, this propaganda about Islam treat women as a 2nd citizen is nothing but a misconceptions about Islam. Because this problem does not just occurred in moslem country but happens in other countries just as well.

Let's take a look at these statistics below :

1. Of the 5328 women murdered in 1990, FBI data indicate that about half or more of them by a husband or boyfriend.

2. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds by her partner; it happens at some time in 25-35 % of American homes; 4,000 women die from such abuse each year. (FBI)

3. A study published in Puerto Rico in 1986 revealed that 60% of all the interviewed married women were victims of physical and/or emotional violence by their husbands.

4. Statistics from 2000 showed that on average a woman is raped every hour in India

5. The 1995 fourth periodic report for the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) showed that from December 1992 to November 1995, "cases of rape and other incidences of violence against women in Philippines have been increasing but only a small number of offenders are apprehended and convicted."

Statistics as these should awaken all those in denial of the fact that wife beating and abuse is an endemic disease in all different cultures, religions and communities. It is as common in Western as it is in Eastern societies.

Men in Western and Eastern societies do not abuse their wives because of scriptural teachings, but because of a natural instinct of domination and aggression. God, knowing this, has therefore decreed a perfect law to help men control their temper and to solve any problems before resorting to physical aggression.

These statistics reflect the failure of modern societies in treating this perilous condition in men. Despite advances in modern psychology and improved understanding of behavioral patterns of men, civilized and uncivilized, a successful solution to this aggressive behavior has not been found by man.

A solution has however been presented to the world in the Quran, our divine book, in surah An-Nisa :34.

[4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

At first glance this verse may appear as if promoting physical abuse of women. But when reading 4:34 carefully one realizes that it actually prohibits abuse and beating of women by using the best psychological approach.

The advise to first talk and then avoid sexual contact, provides the necessary time and space for both parties to cool off, reason, examine the problem and reach a favorable agreement for both of them.

Abuse of a wife will NOT happen if the man learns to follow the clear commandments of God in this verse and in the order decreed. Abuse will only happen when a man does NOT follow these commandments, and thus fails to cool off and reason with himself or with his wife.

Surah An-Nisa, where we read 4:34, entitled "The Women," is one of the longest chapters in the Quran. It deals with many of the rights and responsibilities of women, rights that were first available to western women only a few decades ago, and some that still aren't. The theme of this Sura is to defend women's rights, and countering injustice and oppression of women. Thus, any interpretation of verses in Sura 4 must be in favor of the women, not the other way around.

Unfortunately 4:34 is extremely abused by many of the so-called "Muslim" men in the world. While disregarding their own obligations and their own righteousness, these men only focus on the third step of handling this difficult condition as described in 4:34, skip the first two necessary steps and give themselves the excuse to beat their wives. They find support for their misguided and biased views, and for treating their spouses unjustly, in the fabrications of the so called Hadith and Sunna. They thus misrepresent the true Islam (Submission), and divert people from this perfect and just religion for all.

We have to remember that the right given to the man in 4:34, can only be claimed when you have a situation with a righteous man on one hand dealing with a situation in which his wife repeatedly commits "Nusyooz" which is an unrighteous, wicked and rebellious act. Abusing this law and the attempt to apply it to regular daily marital disagreements is not warranted by the strong and selective wording of the verse. Furthermore, for a man to demand or claim this right, he must first give that woman all the rights God has given her and follow all aspects of the commandment without skipping any part of it. God clearly says in the Quran that He has decreed for the men and the women rights and obligations equitably (Al-Baqarah:228).

In reality, a believing husband would most probably NEVER come to the stage where he would actually lay a hand on his wife. He would be much too careful to examine his own motives first, as a God fearing man, before exercising this right. As we see in the verse immediately following 4:34, when the marriage reaches this stage it's on it's way to end, as the very next words in the Quran reads; "If a couple fears separation…"

Most women in the world today do not enjoy the protection verse 4:34 grants them. Instead they are unjustly abused, verbally and physically, by unrighteous men in unrighteous ways, and get beaten up for the most trivial of reasons, or for no reason at all. According to 4:34 even if the husband has a good reason, he is not allowed to lay a hand on his wife until he has passed all the previous steps.

The woman's responsibility in a marriage starts the day she chooses a husband. If she wants to enjoy her God given rights, she must obey her God given commands, and choose a believing husband. Thus, she can expect from him to treat her in accordance with God's decree, and not transgress against her. She can expect from a believing husband that he will heed any reminder she gives him, if he forgets. If she chooses to disregard God's commands, she has to know that there will be consequences.

If women expect the men's deeds to have consequences, they should expect the same for themselves. These consequences are however well controlled to protect the women from the outrage of the angry husbands as we can find in God's law for the believers in 4:34.

We also learn that one of the traits of the righteous is that they suppress anger.

[Al-Imran:134] "…They are suppressors of anger, and pardoners of the people. GOD loves the charitable."

The nature and essence of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife is beautifully expressed in the following verse from the Quran:

[ Ar-Ruum:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

[Al-Imran:195 ]"Their Lord responded to them: "I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you MALE OR FEMALE, YOU ARE EQUAL TO ONE ANOTHER........."

When facing difficult times, even if the man dislikes his wife, God has decreed;

[An-Nisa:19] O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit what the women leave behind, against their will. You shall not force them to give up anything you had given them, unless they commit a proven adultery. You shall treat them nicely. If you dislike them, you may dislike something wherein GOD has placed a lot of good.

And when divorce happens, the full respect to the wife is urged,

[Al-Baqarah:229] Divorce may be retracted twice. The divorced woman shall be allowed to live in the same home amicably, or leave it amicably. It is not lawful for the husband to take back anything he had given her. However, the couple may fear that they may transgress GOD's law. If there is fear that they may transgress GOD's law, they commit no error if the wife willingly gives back whatever she chooses. These are GOD's laws; do not transgress them. Those who transgress GOD's laws are the unjust.

In conclusion; A BELIEVING wife and a BELIEVING husband will NEVER get to the point where beating of the wife enters the picture. A BELIEVING couple will consult one another and agree on the best way to solve their differences as verse 4:34 and the whole scripture recommends.

We have to know that we are not in this world to protect unrighteous behavior. We are in this world to be given a last chance to make the right choice and submit to God alone. Making the wrong choices will have consequences for all of us, both in this world and in the eternal Hereafter, for women and men equally.

God is the Most Just, the Most Merciful.

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nationalism

These days I came accros a saying that nationalism and patriotism is no longer needed, we’ve already become a free country so what’s the need for it. I felt like shouting, heck offcourse it IS still needed. Here in my post I will not talking about the over fanaticism of the nationalism or even patriotism that tends to brought a separation of the brotherhood amongst Moslems. We have to have an open mind about anything, even regarding nationalism. Before we are a citizen of a specific country, we are the submitter of GOD’s will, and even before that, we are human being who, again has the responsibility to preserve and maintain our submission. That’s the 1^st thing we need to hold very dear and should be our basic reference when we are talking about nationalism. I lived in Indonesia, a country which has undergoes series of colonialisation and in the process of liberating ourselves from this colonialisation, bloods has been shed and hundreds, thousands, and even millions of lives have sacrificed themselves in order to achieve the 1 word which is so valuable at that time, FREEDOM. And now a decade later, we are living in a free country thanks to Allah who has blessed and guided those freedom fighters for their neverending efforts. But why is it, everywhere I look now, all I could see is the youngster who’s too busy minding about following fashion and trend which is against cultural and religion boundaries, a western culture that GOD forbids, a very destructive seed for this country’s future. And not to mention some provinces which has tried to liberate themselves from our beloved country, the politicians who’s too busy making themselves rich and don’t give a damn about the people’s suffering, the leader who’s not sensitive in feeling or responsive to what the people demand, and the acts of the leader who’s being super nice and super permissive to other country, the country who have no values of human lives, did they ever think of the million lives and the blood that has been shed in order to achieve the ulimate goal, the Unity of Indonesian Republic. Once again, I won’t talk about an over fanaticism of nationalism, I merely trying to say to my fellow Indonesian, please be united. Pay our respect to our freedom fighters, be afraid of GOD’s wrath, not HUMAN’s. Our time in this world is temporary, but our time in the hereafter is eternally. Think of it and be wise. May Allah forgive us and show us the right path. Ameen.