Polygyny, permitted not encouraged

A few days ago when I was in a conversation with a client, suddenly it was interrupted by a phone call, my client attended to the phone call and I could hear him yelling at the phone. A couple of minutes later, he said sorry and said, that’s what we should do to put women in their place, they need to know that her position could be replaced anytime anywhere if she’s not obedient. And then without being asked he start telling me that he has 2 wives, in search for the third, and then with his cocky manner he said that it’s the law of Allah to allowed men doing polygamy and it’s women’s duty to accepted their destiny instead of going against it and defying Allah’s order.

This got me thinking and wondering, is this how men looked upon Polygamy and marriage in general, just because they can and they have the ways and means to do it then by all means lets do it, damn the rest . I am going to use the term Polygyny in my further comment, because terminologically, Polygamy means the condition of having more than one spouse at a time, and then it was divided into two, Polyandry which means the condition or practice of having more than one husband at one time and Polygyny which means the condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time, but as daily communication, it is well known and being socialized to use Polygamy to refer to Polygyny act. This thing happened because of the gender bias in society which assume that it is impossible for women to marry more than one husband. So in order to breach the gender bias, I am gonna use the term Polygyny. I have never opposed to Polygyny because I know and understand that Islam allows men to have more than 1 wife, 4 at a maximum, if they want to, without any reasonable cause even. But it is obvious that these days men use Islam and Qur'an especially to use Polygyny as a medieval institution, which was invented by man to fulfill his sexual lust and to keep women under his authority. Every argument was brought to forth in order to justify this act. Starting from the reason that female population outnumbered male's population, women's fertility, a man's wealth, also the reason that a men's sexual needs are greater than those of women, and dignifying women's status in society. Of course, if we search, we won't find these arguments in Qur'an or Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). These arguments have been invented by some "Ulama" to justify polygamy and satisfying men's lust to be exact.

Because all those reason are not valid, fertility for instance does not belong to women only, but in our society often blame is pointed on woman for failing to give birth to child, and as for using sexual needs as a reason really implied how wicked their thoughts are, man is not created a mere sexual animal that he cannot restrain his sexual needs, Allah has given us brain to think and control our nafs rather than following every whims we have. But sadly, we could find these days, men who did polygyny for their wicked purpose rather than a noble one. Some so called pious men even dare to threatened women, both the earlier wife and his candidate of other wife by saying that Allah has make it clear in the Qur'an that Polygyny is allowed, and it's done by our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) to be taken as an example, whoever go against the Qur'an and Allah's will is doing a great sin and could be classified as the kaffir. Subhanallah, wouldn't a mere human being get shivering in her boots if they were threatened like that. And then later on they were thinking, will Allah be so cruel to women that men were given the authority and the right to do anything they want while women can only obey it. Allah is the most compassionate, the most merciful, will the most compassionate and merciful would be so cruel to encourage a cruel act. The answer is no, women were given the same right as men, women can choose, women can fight, women can say NO if they don't want to, women are not obliged to men by obeying and summoning to their orders. Allah by HIS words in Qur'an allows polygyny, not encouraging it. If we are looking at the Qur'an thoroughly, and not just looking per part of the verse, we would find that Polygyny has certain condition, One must take up the verses on polygyny in the Qur'an and explain them not merely as isolated verses but in the total spirit of the Qur'an. There are two verses in the Qur'an as far as Polygyny is concerned, i.e., 4:3 and 4:129. Both verses are equally important to determine the Qur'an approach to the controversial issue of polygamy.

(4:2,3)And give to the orphans their property, and do not substitute worthless (things) for (their) good (ones),and do not devour their property (as an addition) to your own property; this is surely a great crime. And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.

(4:129)(And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish (it), but be not disinclined (from one) with total disinclination, so that you leave her as it were in suspense; and if you effect a reconciliation and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

In the verse, 4:2,3 we will find that Polygyny is allowed with certain conditions which is justice, if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one, by this words we could draw a conclusion that one needs to be extra careful to do Polygyny. By the word FEAR, who do we fear in this context, it is none other than Allah. It means that if we can't do justice then fear Allah's wrath. Justice in this context are widely interpretated, it is not exclusively pointing out to a specific kind of justice, justice could mean equity and fair treatment beetween each wives, equitable and fair treatment implies to equal maintenance and equal facilities to all the wives and also includes equal love. Can the polygynist fullfill all this requirement, if they fear that they can't then i think one should think twice before went through with it. And in the verse 4:129, we will find the continuation of the earlier verse in which has stated that no matter what, one can't do justice to each wives, however hard one strive for it. Polygyny can at best be an exception rather than a rule. It is allowed rather than encouraged, permissive but not a necessity. Allah has created men and women equal, in deeds and their strive for deen. Allah is the most Gracious and the most Merciful, shared HIS love equally to every mankind, be it a man or a woman. One shouldn't hide behind Islam and Qur'an to satisfy their own wicked thoughts. Islam is a submission of the creation to the creator, in this extent human to Allah, not submission of women's will to men. Allah knows best every intention we make.